In my childhood, I remember being angry. I hated the way anger made me feel and searched for relief. My mother took me to church, but I couldn’t connect.
One day I snuck alcohol from the liquor cabinet and got drunk. I can’t say how much of the awful tasting stuff consumed, but the fuzzy feeling got my attention. This became the set up for disaster.
Alcohol, drugs and agnosticism became my way of living. Resentments, fear, and pride plagued my soul. I was unaware of my behavior and often caused emotional harm to those in my path. Selfishness ruled my motives, and I always wanted something in return.
In my adolescence years, I didn’t care for school or even girls. I wanted to get and stay drunk. This worried my mother sick since sometimes she didn’t know my whereabouts. She couldn’t trust me since I was a constant liar.
In the spring of 1985, the alcohol or drugs could no longer kill the emotional turmoil. My life had gotten to the point of complete and utter hopelessness. I hated myself and wanted to die. Then God took my hand. He rescued me and gave me an opportunity to know Him. God showed me the reality of His existence.
But God knew I wasn’t ready to receive His everlasting grace. After 18 years of sobriety, I returned to the darkness of alcoholism. I knew it wasn’t wise, but my faith was dead. My spiritual complacency cost me God’s favor. It had taken eight years of relentless suffering before I asked for His help. And the moment I asked Him, He relieved my bondage. I can’t thank Him enough for showing me mercy.
God didn’t give up on me, nor will He give up on you. Maybe you have become distant from God. I did too. So let us grow our faith together and share God’s truth.